‘Fiction In A Flash Challenge Week #23 Entry by Mark Bierman #WritingPrompts #WritingCommunity #FlashFiction

Hello everyone, today I’m featuring my contribution to Author Suzanne Burkes’ “Fiction in A Flash Challenge!” Each week she features an image and invites writers to write a Flash Fiction or Non-Fiction piece inspired by that image in any format and genre of their choosing.  Maximum word count: 750 words. Please head over to Suzanne’s wonderful blog site and have a look around! Click on this link: https://sooozburkeauthor.wordpress.com/

Here is the photo prompt for today’s blog:

“Forget it Talbot, we’ll never get down there! Not with the bullet hole in your paw! Never mind neither of us can swim a lick.”

“Hear that?”

“What?”

“Don’t sound like we’ve much choice, Earnest.”

“Hounds! Coppers are comin’! How close?”

“’bout the same as a grasshopper can shotput an elephant, be my guesstimate. We gotta’ skeedadle! ‘Less ya’ wanna go back to an eight by ten cage and floaty meat sauce suppers.”

“Heck no! Do ya’ think the chopper’s comin’?”

“Pshaw! Listen, Bekr—”

“Hate that nickname! Should a fed Billy a knuckle sandwich with a side a hand chop, right cross the neck! Long form is worser, Be Kind Rewind. Kinda’ morose comes up with such hogswallop?”

“Anyone gets five years for video piracy deserves it.”

“Comin’ from Mister Parkin’ Warriors? Ooh! Park here, there, in front of hydrants and driveways. Pretend you’re leadin’ a revelation ‘gainst the almighty arm of the Parkin’ Coppers. Torchin’ tickets, leave ‘em burnin’ in the street. Bad a**! ”    

“Revolushion is what ya’ meant. Pay no mind to that. Earnest, I say we jump. Rock, Paper, Scissors to see whose first?”

“You’re on! One, two, three, shoot! No! Ya’ can’t use your shot up hand, that’s cheatin’!”

“How?”

“Ya’ always use rock then, and I use . . . oh, I see! Wait! Let’s do that again.”

“What’s so funny?”

“Uh, nothin’, jus’ go. Lemme count. One, two, three . . . dang it! Ya’ can’t change paws! ‘gainst the rules!”

“Says the infamous Blue Ray Beard, captain of his momma’s basement couch? Ya’ think I’m stoopid ‘nough to use rock again? Sure ya’ didn’t eat the plastic T.V. Dinner trays?” 

“Shut up, Talbot! I’m warnin’ ya’, or I’ll stuff a tire boot in it!”

“I don’t think the FBI heard ya’. Those ‘Finders of Bumbling Inbreds’ they warn ya’ about jus’ before the movie.”    

“Shh! Coppers ain’t far behind. Them mutts are getting’ louder. One of us has to go and if he breathes, yells up.”

“What ‘bout if he croaks? Ouch! My hand!”

“’Enough of the smart walkie talkies. You’re thick as your ma’s toenails, how about ya’ pick a number between one and ten. I’ll say if ya guest it.”

“Yup, plastic and beavered on lead painted toys.”

“What do ya’ suggest then, genies?”

“Put your hands up! Turn around and walk slowly backwards, towards us!”

“Dang, Earnest, look what you done! Jawin’ till the feds caught us.”

“Me? Your lips were flappin’  like a dogs’ out a truck’s window.”  

“Get your hands up, turn around! Move to us!”

“Jus’ a moment. Need to hash out who’s done what.  Bekr thinks I done get us caught. But he don’t know when to beat feet out of an alley cats’ can. ”

“What’re you talking about? You’ve got until three to put—”

“We got your air mail, bud. Talbot was sayin’ we gotta’ butter our popcorn. Line our dragons with the startin’ gate. Ouch!”  

“Ain’t said that way! It’s churn butter for our popcorn and drag our horses to the startin’ gate. Ya’ gonna’ quote somethin’ get it right.”  

“Enough! Get them!”  

“Talbot, that an eagle flyin’ out there?”

“No, jus’ a haaaawwwwkkk!”

“I knnnnooooowwww!”

SPLASH!

“We’re alive! Earnest, good job! How’d you know we’d make it?”

“Huh? Jus’ knowed, is all.”  

“Look at ‘em coppers up there! Can’t get us! Look at ‘em shakin’ their fists and pointin’!”

“Uh, Talbot, they’s not pointin’ at us. Water up ahead is boilin’ like it’s got a hundred hippos passin’ wind all at once.”

“Yup, there’s a might racket comin’ from ahead. I’ll have a look see. Jumpin’ jiminy cats! What in the Sammy’s Hill you gotten’ us into? Ya’ toady brained pint-wit?”

“’Scuse me, the correct terms is Jumpin’ Jiminy Crackers and horse-brained half-wit. Some wise acre once settled me straight on quotes and their properly meanins’.”

“Hush! I jus’ had movement in the gray Jello in my attic.”

“Can’t wait for this Hershy squirt of  gospel truth.”

“This is serious stuffins’. Pull the ‘taters from your ears and listen up.”

“Be easier if they wasn’t fillin’ with water and the noise of those gassy hippos, but out with it.”

“Well, ‘member the coyote and road runner cartoons we watch? You know when the poor coyote is up in the air and realizes he can’t fly? ’member what happens next?”

“Talbot! You sayin’ what I’m thinkin’?  You side of beef butt you! Why’d ya’ hafta remind us that we can’t swim?”

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markbierman

Born and raised on a farm near Brockville, Ontario, Mark Bierman's childhood consisted of chores, riding horses, snowmobile races across open fields, fishing trips to a local lake, and many other outdoor adventures. He was also an avid reader of both fiction and non. Transitioning towards adulthood also meant moving from the farm and into large urban areas that introduced this country boy to life in the big cities. After a short stint as a private investigator, he moved into the role of Correctional Officer, working at both Millhaven Institution and Kingston Penitentiary, until it closed.

32 thoughts on “‘Fiction In A Flash Challenge Week #23 Entry by Mark Bierman #WritingPrompts #WritingCommunity #FlashFiction”

  1. This is laugh out loud funny, Mark. A wonderful exchange of hilarious dialogue. I too am reminded of that famous waterfall scene in Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid. Thanks for a great contribution to the prompt. I’ve just had the pleasure of sharing it. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Mark, I have seen this photo floating about and I am curious about your take on a story.

    I enjoy how you immerse yourself in the characters, their accents and slang expressions. I forgot all about video piracy. This used to be a big thing. “Bumbling inbreds’ made me smile. A fun and creative take on the prompt. Erica

    Liked by 1 person

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