Just A Short Post

Oh, and there’s also one that’s fallen over.

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Man-i-tasking!

Hey blogger buddies! Today we’re delving into a hot topic (well, maybe not so hot) about multitasking. We all know the research behind women as capable multitaskers, but what about us dudes?

My friend Ted thinks so. He calls it man-i-tasking. Why don’t we peek in and see how it’s working for him?

Bollock’s Pet Supplies

December 13, 2022

7:56 AM

Bae: Can’t wait for dinner! Where r u taking me?

Ted: Fuhgeddaboudit!

Bae: Botticellis! I nu it! Luv the Ribollita! Yummee! Tiramisu for dessert!

“Morning Ted. Hey, did you remember to restock the dog food yesterday, before you left?”

“You bet your ah . . . great hair, I did.”

“Hey, I know you’re not on the clock yet, but I’ve got a video call in a few moments. Do you think you can send a quick text for me?”

“Um, on my phone?”

Bae: Hello?

Ted: Txt u in a sec.

“Wouldn’t dream of asking that. Use the one we gave you, the one sitting on the desk by your elbow.”

“Sure, no prob, Susan. I’m just finishing up with Bae, I mean Jen. What’s it about?”

Bae: Why? Watz up?

Ted: Just a sec

“The Christmas Party tonight. There’s been some last-minute changes. I need to let everyone know the details, ASAP. We open in less than five, can you send it now? There’s a lineup at the door already, so I don’t want it forgotten.”

“Okay . . . shoot, Boss Lady. I can man-i-task like the best!”

“Um okay. Here goes. We regret to inform you that due to a kitchen fire last night at Chichi Piquant, we’ve had to change venues. We’ve leased plenty of . . .

Bae: Why u ignoring me? Tell me watz up!

“yxvy hjklmnohhhh invgep dklwpoub

Ted: It’s Boss Lady. K?

Bae: So? U got 4 mins.

“qzxxy ahnghh for . . .

Bae: Tell her!

Ted: She’s Boss!

“6 pm. Remember to bring  . . .

Bae: I gotta’ come down there and do it?

Ted: Just a sec!

Bae: U txtin’ wat she says rite now! On the work phone! Pussy!

Ted: It’s not like that!

“exysty. Oh, and . . .

Bae: Hollow back man!

Ted: I ain’t no!

Bae: Gwen Stephanie forever! Ya!

Ted: ROLF!

“You got all that, Teddy? Good. Gotta’ go! Be sure to clean the gerbil cages at some point today.”

Ted: U got it, Boss Lady!

Bae: Huh? Oh ya! U rite about that!

“Right on it, Boss Lady Susan. Just hitting the old group chat ‘send’ button.”

Ted: Bae, I gotta’ go open up shop.

Ted: Bae?

Ted: Bae? I mean it, some kid’s kicking the door.

Bae: Um, u sent this to everyone at our work?

Ted: Ya, why?

Bae: Read it and remember what I said about man-i-tasking.

Ted: Not a thing, got ya. 😉

 “Hey, Ted, can I see you in my office?”

“Susan! Hey, I was just about to open up. I thought you had a meeting.”

“I did, I do, but something’s come up. Just a quick chat. Okay? Hey Mike, can you take a break from stocking shelves and open up? Great, thanks.”

“That’s it, Ted, come in and close the door.”

“What’s this about? I sent the text like you asked. I know, I should have stopped talking to Jen. But you know how she is.”

“I do, she’s worked here for a long time. But you’re right, you should have stopped. One thing at a time, remember? Man-i-tasking is a myth.”

“Prove it.”

“Okay. Here’s what I asked you to send: ‘We regret to inform you that due to a kitchen fire at Chichi Piquant, we’ve had to change venues. We’ve leased plenty of space for the kid’s Santa party, as this will keep things orderly.

It’ll be at Crème Emporium for 6pm. Remember to bring a pet toy donation. Rawhides are always a chewy favorite! Oh, and dress up as your favorite Holiday character! Susan will be going as Dotty Elf. Yes, she’s a bit sass!’

“Dotty was a favorite character in a book I used to love, by the way.”

“So, what the problem?”

“Here’s what you texted not only the entire store, but the entire chain. My bosses were a bit ‘curious’ to say the least.

 ‘We regret to inform you that due to a kitchen fire at Chichi Piquant, we’ve had to change venues. We’ll leash all the kids for the Santa Party, it’ll keep them orderly.  It’ll be at the Crematorium for 6pm. Remember to bring your chewy hides, as they’re a favorite. Huh? Dunno’ about that one, but Susan’s telling me what to type. Anyways, she’s going as Naughty Elf because she’s a bad ass.’ ”

“Am I fired?”

“Is man-i-tasking a myth?”

“Er . . .”

“Is it?”

“Yes, if I can keep my job.”

“Done.”

Bae: Told you so!

Photos With Captions To Make You Smile And Think

I’m back with another round of photos from daily life. My, things have changed both inside and outside since my last post. Outside, we’ve acquired some white groundcover, love or hate it, winter’s here. Personally, I’ve got mixed feelings about winter; I hate the shorter days, but love skiing and the fact that the cold kills off a lot of nasty bugs. Meanwhile, indoors, it’s looking a lot like Christmas, and much earlier than usual this year.

Let’s get this picture show in the air! Onwards Rudolph, Dasher, Blitzen, Prancer, Crasher, Comet, Vixen, Cupid, Dancer, and Donner! Did you spot the extra reindeer?

“Can’t say for sure, Jeb, but I’m sensing a pattern.”

When you answer, “Sure.” to, “Can I borrow your camera, Dad?”

Not even the pouring rain could snuff their evil glow!

My prayer for you, today.

Ramblings of a pale-fingered, “Green Thumb.”

These days, I’m expanding my horizons and have been working with a local company that designs and maintains some lavish gardens. Being a greenhorn means that my green thumb is a very light shade of whitish. Needless to say, my question to answer ratio is drastically unbalanced, but hey, I’m loving the journey.  

One of my biggest concerns is mistakenly yanking out a prized flower. A challenge made even harder as most plants haven’t flowered yet.

So, to avoid trouble, I’ve done my level-headed best at recognizing and retaining the appearance of different leaves and seedlings. I’m slowly learning the proper names, but for those that I don’t, I have a “highly specialized” classification system.

Here goes:

A Something: No idea what it is. Yes, there’s something sticking out of the dirt, but I am unable to determine whether it is a weed or a flower. I need to go and ask.

A Thing: Hands off! Still have no idea what the heck it is, but this is a no go for a pull. Yes, I was told what it was, but can’t remember the name.  

Not a thing: Grip and pull! It’s either a weed, a nasty intruder, or the owner just wants it gone. I’ve already been given the green light by the experts, but I forget the name.

Yes, okay, now you’ve been given the code, no red pills required if you are captured by the enemy, though I’m not sure who that could be.

Anyways, I thought it might be fun to create a fictional account of how things might go if I was gardening at home and left to my own destruction.

“Doh! What did I just pull out?”

“Dad? Dad! What did you just shove into your pocket?”

“Oh, um, just a few somethings.”

“Oh no! No! No! Those were Mom’s favorites! I can’t believe you did that! Mom! Mo—”

“Shush! Alright it was just a few things, look, they’re not a thing, really.”

“Not a thing? They’re everything! Those were five orchid seedlings!”

“Really? These grassy things? They looked like weeds.”

“Nope! Definitely somethings and more that, they were a thing! Even in your garden speak.”  

“But how was I supposed to know? None of them even had petals yet. Please tell me these weren’t those reddish, yellowish, and black, weird shaped—”

“Lady’s Slipper Orchids. Yes, the seeds she pointed out at the garden store, and said that she couldn’t wait to see bloom.”

“Look, can we make a deal or something?”

“I’m listening.”

“Well, what if we say that this was the work of a vole.”

“A vole? Is that a thing?”

“Sheesh, kid! You want to hear my proposal or not? Yes, a vole is a thing. It tunnels underground, and sucks down plants from their root. Just like spaghetti. A pack of them are called Doozers. Oh, and they love radishes, too, so we need to watch out for that.”

“Google . . . what is a vole?”

“Ah sheesh! Should have known you would’ve brought that thing out here.”

“A vole is a small rodent about the size of a mouse that dwells primarily above ground. Voles sometimes use tunnels created by moles to feed on plant structures underground. Voles—”

“Oh, shut that silly thing off, would you? See? Even Google agrees with me.”

“Okay, I’ll go with it. But you do the talking, and maybe you should leave out the ridiculous reference to Fraggle Rock.”

“Huh? How’d you know about that show?”

“YouTube. You’re aware that there are more things on there, than just tutorials on how to repair car thingies.”

“Touché.”

“What’s going on you two? You look like you’re up to something.”

“Busted.”

“Sucks to be you too. I was gonna’ buy you a thing, but now you’ll get nothing.”