Happy Friday! The long weekend is here, yay! Here is my take on talented Author Suzanne Burkes’ weekly Fiction In a Flash Challenge. Authors are invited to write a short story about the photo shown. Please click on the above link to go to her blog site. Thank you so much, Suzanne for hosting this regular challenge!
Photo prompt:
“Captain BriIlaagisetogainalihandet! They’re closing in on us!”
“Argh! Landlubber knave! How many times do I hafta’ tell ye, not to call me by that name! It’s hyphnatted now!”
“What?”
“Shortened! Like yer life, if ya’ call me that agin! It’s Bilgerat that I goes by, on these seas.”
“Um, right, of course. Meant no offense, sir . . . ah, Captain Bilge rat . . . er, I mean Bilgerat. It’s just that, well, do you think it was wise to steal the light house keeper’s secret recipe, for peanut butter brittle? He’s set the Royal Navy on us, and—”
“Ye be a quakin’ in yer booties, I see. Got nary a stomak fer the high stakes game of the buccaneer!”
“Ah, sorry, I’m a bit new at this. Oh hi, by the way, my name’s Rick. My first time working on a pirate ship, and all. We haven’t met, but I know—”
“Pirate! Ne’er use that word on this ship agin, or you’ll be shark chum! Got it! It’s not jus’ fer my sake, but yur’s too. Ya’ know, a man can’t do this fer’ever and some day ye’ll be walkin’ off into the reel world. Git yerself a wench an’ settle down, have a coupl’a kids an’ then you’ll be needin’ a job. ‘Magine puttin’ pirate on the resume! Argh! Best to put buccaneer, sounds best.”
“Um, Okay. Actually, speaking of shark chum, are you quite finished with dragging Bertrand behind the ship. I mean, it’s been a day since he broke into your stash of chocolate coins. You know, the ones you thought were real, until they melted in the sun.”
“Bah! I knew they’re choc’late, scallywag! I did! Don’t ye be eyeballin’ me that way. Who told ya’ that lie? Argh! Ne’er mind! Firs’ n’ fourmos’, do not be questionin’ my discipline means. Secondly, he’s floatin’ on a piece of crate from the croissants we stole from the French bakr’y. But yer right ‘bout that. He’s slowin’ us down, so best to cut ‘im loose. Take your sword, lad.”
“Wait! Bertrand makes delicious waffles, and he knows where to get the best cream and strawberries.”
“I know’ ya’ picaroon! It’s jus’ an espression! The blade is fer the ‘gulls. Keeps ‘em from getting too close an’ usin’ yer ‘noggin’ fer an outhouse!”
“Oh, yes, Master, Bilgerat. Nasty things, those birds. But before I go, I want to—”
“What? Know ‘bout if it was worth the recipe? Yay, I say! My Nanna used to make it best, and this here keeper says his is better, it’s all o’er the seven seas! See my tooth? The last one, and I’ll not be wastin’ it on brittle with the taste of sea glass. I swore an oath to dear Nanna, that I’d steal the recipe and find the truth. If it’s better, I’ll burn the recipe. No one bests Nanna!”
“Oh, you’re doing this all for your Grandmother, how swee— I mean swashbuckling, of you. But there’s one more thing.”
“Speak of it, then shutpan your mouth, an’ do as your told!”
“Well, um, how do I put this, you seem to be moderately good, sort of, at your job. You turn that large wheel thing, like a pro, but perhaps you need some brushing up on your navigational skills.”
“Ye be talkin’ yerself to the plank. Can ya’ swim?”
“Um, I don’t think that’ll be necessary, either the plank or the swim.”
“Nec’ary! I’ll tell ye’ what is that! As long as yer under these sail’s, I be tellin’ ye what’s that!”
“Okay. Fair enough, but I think someone might have a slightly different opinion.”
“An’ who might that scallywag be? I’ll send him to the Locker!”
“Oh, that would be the lighthouse keeper. You see, we did a full circle and—”
“My ship! Weigh anchors! Argh! It be too laaaatttteee!!!”
Mark Bierman 