Man-i-tasking!

Hey blogger buddies! Today we’re delving into a hot topic (well, maybe not so hot) about multitasking. We all know the research behind women as capable multitaskers, but what about us dudes?

My friend Ted thinks so. He calls it man-i-tasking. Why don’t we peek in and see how it’s working for him?

Bollock’s Pet Supplies

December 13, 2022

7:56 AM

Bae: Can’t wait for dinner! Where r u taking me?

Ted: Fuhgeddaboudit!

Bae: Botticellis! I nu it! Luv the Ribollita! Yummee! Tiramisu for dessert!

“Morning Ted. Hey, did you remember to restock the dog food yesterday, before you left?”

“You bet your ah . . . great hair, I did.”

“Hey, I know you’re not on the clock yet, but I’ve got a video call in a few moments. Do you think you can send a quick text for me?”

“Um, on my phone?”

Bae: Hello?

Ted: Txt u in a sec.

“Wouldn’t dream of asking that. Use the one we gave you, the one sitting on the desk by your elbow.”

“Sure, no prob, Susan. I’m just finishing up with Bae, I mean Jen. What’s it about?”

Bae: Why? Watz up?

Ted: Just a sec

“The Christmas Party tonight. There’s been some last-minute changes. I need to let everyone know the details, ASAP. We open in less than five, can you send it now? There’s a lineup at the door already, so I don’t want it forgotten.”

“Okay . . . shoot, Boss Lady. I can man-i-task like the best!”

“Um okay. Here goes. We regret to inform you that due to a kitchen fire last night at Chichi Piquant, we’ve had to change venues. We’ve leased plenty of . . .

Bae: Why u ignoring me? Tell me watz up!

“yxvy hjklmnohhhh invgep dklwpoub

Ted: It’s Boss Lady. K?

Bae: So? U got 4 mins.

“qzxxy ahnghh for . . .

Bae: Tell her!

Ted: She’s Boss!

“6 pm. Remember to bring  . . .

Bae: I gotta’ come down there and do it?

Ted: Just a sec!

Bae: U txtin’ wat she says rite now! On the work phone! Pussy!

Ted: It’s not like that!

“exysty. Oh, and . . .

Bae: Hollow back man!

Ted: I ain’t no!

Bae: Gwen Stephanie forever! Ya!

Ted: ROLF!

“You got all that, Teddy? Good. Gotta’ go! Be sure to clean the gerbil cages at some point today.”

Ted: U got it, Boss Lady!

Bae: Huh? Oh ya! U rite about that!

“Right on it, Boss Lady Susan. Just hitting the old group chat ‘send’ button.”

Ted: Bae, I gotta’ go open up shop.

Ted: Bae?

Ted: Bae? I mean it, some kid’s kicking the door.

Bae: Um, u sent this to everyone at our work?

Ted: Ya, why?

Bae: Read it and remember what I said about man-i-tasking.

Ted: Not a thing, got ya. 😉

 “Hey, Ted, can I see you in my office?”

“Susan! Hey, I was just about to open up. I thought you had a meeting.”

“I did, I do, but something’s come up. Just a quick chat. Okay? Hey Mike, can you take a break from stocking shelves and open up? Great, thanks.”

“That’s it, Ted, come in and close the door.”

“What’s this about? I sent the text like you asked. I know, I should have stopped talking to Jen. But you know how she is.”

“I do, she’s worked here for a long time. But you’re right, you should have stopped. One thing at a time, remember? Man-i-tasking is a myth.”

“Prove it.”

“Okay. Here’s what I asked you to send: ‘We regret to inform you that due to a kitchen fire at Chichi Piquant, we’ve had to change venues. We’ve leased plenty of space for the kid’s Santa party, as this will keep things orderly.

It’ll be at Crème Emporium for 6pm. Remember to bring a pet toy donation. Rawhides are always a chewy favorite! Oh, and dress up as your favorite Holiday character! Susan will be going as Dotty Elf. Yes, she’s a bit sass!’

“Dotty was a favorite character in a book I used to love, by the way.”

“So, what the problem?”

“Here’s what you texted not only the entire store, but the entire chain. My bosses were a bit ‘curious’ to say the least.

 ‘We regret to inform you that due to a kitchen fire at Chichi Piquant, we’ve had to change venues. We’ll leash all the kids for the Santa Party, it’ll keep them orderly.  It’ll be at the Crematorium for 6pm. Remember to bring your chewy hides, as they’re a favorite. Huh? Dunno’ about that one, but Susan’s telling me what to type. Anyways, she’s going as Naughty Elf because she’s a bad ass.’ ”

“Am I fired?”

“Is man-i-tasking a myth?”

“Er . . .”

“Is it?”

“Yes, if I can keep my job.”

“Done.”

Bae: Told you so!

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The “Ghosts” in my Darkness

This is not an easy blog for me to write, but I’m feeling called to expose my secret for the sake of those who may be suffering in silence.

I have been diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) that has been linked to my career as a Correctional Officer. Think of me as you will, I am no longer concerned with stigmas and shaming. Believe me, this condition is as real as any physical disorder and just as devastating.

No, I’m not looking for sympathy. I want to reach out to those who are ‘there’ and feel that they have nowhere to turn. I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m yelling the words below, however, these are from personal experience and cannot be stressed enough.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

YOU ARE NOT WEAK.

YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN TO YOUR FAMILY OR ANYONE ELSE.

PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE AND GET HELP.

IF YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE FOOLING THOSE WHO KNOW YOU BEST INTO BELIEVING NOTHING IS WRONG, YOU ARE ONLY FOOLING YOURSELF. THEY NOTICE, TRUST ME.

YOUR LOVED ONES MAY NOT ‘GET YOU’ BUT THEY WANT TO HELP.

YOUR FAMILY MAY NEED TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP AS WELL, BECAUSE PTSD IS TRAUMATIZING TO THOSE WHO LOVE YOU. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT THAT YOU HAVE PTSD, BUT IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO SEEK HELP AND WORK AT RECOVERING.

SUICIDE OR NUMBING WITH DRUGS, ALCOHOL, OR WHATEVER POISONOUS “COPING” MECHANISM YOU MAY CHOOSE, IS NOT THE ANSWER.

My pride got in the way and I waited too long. In fact, if you want to talk, I am available at markbierman3@gmail.com. I promise confidentiality and lay no claim to being a professional counsellor, but I will do my best to give support and listen. I want you to know that you are not being intrusive if you email me to talk. I have friends who are dealing with PTSD and it is therapeutic to share with others who ‘get it’.

I’ll spare you the gruesome details of how I came to this point, that’s not what this blog is about. I’m currently off on disability for my condition and receiving professional help. I will say one fact that came as a surprise to me. In spite of all the violence, death, and life-threatening situations that I have endured, the biggest contributor was the feeling of betrayal at the hands of those who were supposed to protect me and my coworkers. They were negligent. There is a geographical and bureaucratic detachment, combined with ignorance of the realities of our job. In addition, there is also, what seems to me, an apparent lack of concern because we are deemed unimportant. I will stop there, because I become angry just thinking about it.

PTSD can be caused by a single traumatic event, or, in my case, cumulative events. It is not just an issue for first responders, anyone can be afflicted.

No one has the right to tell you to, “Suck it up, it’s all in your head.”

That’s complete bulls**t!

I’ve lost six coworkers to suicide over the years and there are more that I did not know personally. I have also seen too many drink themselves to death, all to numb the pain. If that is what “sucking it” up means, count me out!

If you need immediate help because of suicidal thoughts, please contact a help line or the police. You can get better, there is hope and help in the darkness.

Here is a poem I wrote sometime ago that sheds a bit of light on what living with this issue can feel like. I composed this at my worst. I am glad to say that I no longer feel this way most of the time.

What Haunts Me.

Morning light through window shines, but I wish for darkness to remain,

For with the light, come the demands of life, far too much

“Take your meds!” they preach. “They will help to reduce the pain.”

I swallow them down to banish the ghosts, yet never escape their clutch

What happened to the man I used to be? Full of life and no dark stain,

He’s but gone, a phantom from another time, never to return again.

We are all different, and I know we have different values, beliefs and situations, but here are a few things that have helped me on the road to recovery.

My belief in God.

My wonderful and supportive friends and family.

Prescribed and monitored medication.

Professional counselling.

Leaving the situation (work).

An attitude of gratitude, yes, concentrating and giving thanks for the blessings in my life.

Regular physical exercise.

Volunteering as much as I can in these strange days of COVID.

Good nutrition and sleep (not always easy but it will come with time).

Being outdoors, especially enjoying nature.

Pets.

Avoiding the news and social media, at times.

Your thoughts control your emotions, so I’ve been taught to practice a technique called CATCH, CHECK, CHANGE: If you have a bad thought capture it, check the rationale behind it, change it to something positive. This one takes some work.

This list is not exhaustive, and you will discover your own path to healing.

Just one more thing before I close. I want you to know, especially the wonderful friends I’ve made at Rave Reviews Book Club , that if I don’t respond to comments in a proper time frame, participate in supportive activities, blog, or retweet, I’m probably having a rough day and cannot focus. It’s nothing personal. It’s taking me forever to write my second book because of this.

I’m on the mend and fighting back, and someday I’ll finish that book. 🙂

Please take care of yourselves and your loved ones. You deserve a great life and there is always hope.

An Invitation to Join the Club

As the dawn sheds light on a new day, I find myself reflecting on yesterday’s celebration of Canada’s birthday.

Canada is many things, including a beautiful land of diversity, both in landscape and people. We’re far from perfect and face our own struggles, but overall, we are blessed.

However, Canada is but one country, and sparsely populated in relation to land mass.  At just over 37 million, we’re a drop in the bucket.

What about this club thing in the title, Bierman? And what’s with the handshake photo? Don’t you know it’s dangerous nowadays? I’ll get to that, soon, I promise. First, I’m going to give you a quick bio about myself, so that you have a gist about who’s extending this invitation.

Here goes: I’m a white, middle class, Christian man, with a nuclear family. I have over twenty years’ experience as a Correctional Officer. I’m the son of immigrants who arrived as children, from Holland. I am proud of who I am, my heritage, my country, and my family.

I hope you are proud of who you are too. You have every right to be.

You see, this club is not exclusive, it’s open to everyone, regardless of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, political leanings, and occupation.

There are some rules, however:

1. You must have a pulse.
2. You agree to behave in a respectful manner to all. Do not mock or belittle anyone because you think their ideas, religion, beliefs, interests, what have you, are foolish.
3. You agree to disagree, refrain from assigning unfair labels to someone, simply because their opinions do not coincide with your own.
4. You agree to inform yourself and question what you see and hear on the news. That goes for social media, too. You are intelligent and have free will. Please do your research before you make assumptions. I’m sorry, I know real issues exist, but this particular item is gasoline on an inferno. Blue Lives Murder T Shirt on Amazon . So every police officer is a murderer? I don’t think so. I’m using this one because it hits a bit close to home. I don’t know what you do for a living but think about possible stereotypes for your profession. Are they true for all who work in that field?
5. Honest questions are encouraged and even polite debate, but do not expect a conversion to your way of thinking. Oh, by the way, might be wise to leave the thesaurus at home. Sophisticated or uncommon words that are meant to demonstrate superior “intelligence” often do the opposite. More importantly, they do not foster amicable relations.
6. We all have trauma and scars from the past. Yes, even the rich and famous. So many things shape us into what we are today. I think it’s important to remember that we are all one footstep away from being someone else.

So, what is this club? Well, I guess I’ll call it, The Club of Humanity. The invitation has no expiry date. All that is required is to follow these simple rules and check any bitterness, anger, and prejudice at the door. If you’d like, I can leave a bin of glasses at the entrance to wear, so that members can see others through a new lens.

Thank you for reading this. I hope to see you there!