Worn #writephoto

worn-steps

I wrote this in response to Sue Vincent’s write photo prompt. If you would like to join in the fun, please visit her wonderful blog and have a look around: Sue Vincent

Please suspend your disbelief and picture a convoy of leaf cutter ants crawling across the fourth step from the top, on your right. The ants in this story are all female because worker ants tend to be this gender. The males exist to breed only, surprised? Let’s have a peek into the lives of our six-legged cast, shall we?

“Company halt! Major Amelia, do you have any idea where we are? Why are we crawling into a valley? And a better question is, what are those really tall things sticking up from the ground? They almost reach the sky!”

“Well uh, you see Commander Ava, I, um, was not really, well, you can see, the wind keeps blowing the leaf I’m carrying into my eyes. It’s huge, you know, I am very efficient, as some of us are. The most fungus for the leaf, as they say, or something like that. Hey, you know who might know, because she can’t handle the big stuff? Captain Abigail, of course! Oh, and she’s right here! She’ll know the answer.”

“Very well, Major Amelia, and I’d appreciate a proper antennae salute, or I’ll have you busted down to trash duty? You hear me?”

“Ouch! Yes Commander! Loud and clear. Oh, by the way, did you notice that omeone-say lse-eay idn’t-day altute-say?”

“Enough of that and stop pointing your antennae at the Captain. But yes, you owe me a salute, too, Abigail. And by the way, Major, someone in your position ought to have mastered a simple salute without poking herself in the eye. If your daddy hadn’t taken off after mating with the Queen, I’d swear that he bought your rank for you.”

“But Commander Ava, I don’t even know who my daddy is. None of us do. There’s just too many daddies!”

“Silence! Major Amelia, I’m well aware of how it all works. Now, we have a big problem here and of course, the best way to solve it is first to find out who is to blame.

“Those giants of the Sky Colony that walk up and down these mountains in just eight steps, well, I’ve learned their language. I hear them talk, and that’s what they do.

“We all know that might makes right, and since they are mightier, that means they must be rightier. Isn’t that right?

“No, you imbeciles! What are you, a bunch of dung beetles? Everyone stay in formation! I’m not talking about a direction, just about being right about might. Ah, never mind!

“Captain Abigail, as the lowest rank among the three of us, you are automatically guilty. If you wish to save your precious exoskeleton, you can start by explaining how you created this mess.”

“Me? I mean, Commander Ava, I was third in line, following Major Amelia. I’ve walked in lockstep the entire trip.”

“Hope you like the smell of garbage, because you’ll never forage again.”

“I will take it from here, thank you, Major.”

“Oh, sorry, Commander. But can I just say one thing?”

“Sure, but that’s it.”

“Captain Abigail is lazy. She only carries forty-nine times her bodyweight. She spends most of her time gawking around and smelling the pharaoh moans.”

“And you’re so dumb you can’t even pronounce pheromones.”

“Don’t clack your mandibles at me, Captain. I outrank you, remember?”

“Girls! Can we have order here, please! Now Captain, you’re still guilty and will be punished, but when you mentioned that phero-thingy, came up with a brilliant idea, yet again. You see, the Captain has allowed our route to be sabotaged by the drones of the Sky Colony.”

“No disrespect, Commander, but what are you talking about?”

“Oh, sweet Captain, you have much to learn . . . explains your lowly rank, I suppose. I have personally seen one myself. It was days ago, and it flew over me, on its way up these very mountains. It had black and yellow stripes and made a horrendous buzzing sound.”

“Um, Commander—”

“Do not interrupt me, Captain! Now, as I was saying, the beast flew up these mountains towards that big blue, Sky Portal that the Sky Colony comes from.”

“Um, again, no disrespect, but I don’t think that’s the sky. You see, it’s vertical and the actual sky is— ouch!”

“If the Commander says that it’s the sky, that’s what it is. Now stop rubbing your eye and do not speak until you’re told to.”

“Thank you, Major. I’m ordering everyone to do a smell check. That way we can be sure that no enemy is among us. Look for yellow and black stripes, as well as anyone who buzzes like the gossip mill back at the Hill.

“That’s right! Get those antennae working. Major, get away from me! Ouch! You bit me! That’s it, Captain Abigail is now on permanent trash duty!”

“Me? But that was the Major’s fault.”

“You see me not listening? Yes, that’s what it’s like, but no one cares what you have to say. Alright, halt! It is clear that we have no enemies among us. Now we can resume the blame game. Captain, turn in your badge.”

“But we don’t have badges.”

“That’s it! You’re, hey, what just hit me?”

“Commander! It’s starting to rain! We need to seek shelter before we’re washed down these mountains!”

“Don’t tell me when it is raining, Captain. I’ll tell you, that’s how it works!”

“Um right . . . everyone, we need to get out of here! Move, now!”

“They won’t unless I command it. I say it might be rain, but if it is, then it is only a light rain. It will pass and we shall proceed in determining a new punishment for your insubordination.”

“Everyone, this is your captain speaking! Follow the chain of command but start with me. We’ll pretend the upper ranks do not exist. The rain is getting worse and we’ve no time to reach shelter, get to the base of this mountain and use your leaves to shield yourselves! Yes, that’s it, now hold on. Here comes the downpour!”

“Hey, Not-Captain-Abigail! You are way out of line . . . Major, take that leaf off your head and stand beside me at the edge of this cliff.”

“Y-yes Commander.”

“That’s a good girl, now listen to meee….!”

“They’re gone! I’m glad we listened to you, Captain.”

“All in the chain of command, Sergeant. Now hold steady!”

 

Don’t be a Cheechako! Trivia Answers Revealed.

Good morning, afternoon, or whatever time you find yourself reading this post. Now, before we put our Mackinaw jackets on to prepare for the frigid climate of a wintry Yukon, I want you to stretch out. If we’re going to find some gold, then a lot of digging needs to be done.

Oh alright, we’ll just do one exercise. It’s a simple one, all you need to do is shrug and roll your eyes. Got It? Bully for you! Now repeat after me, “I am ready to “expand” my mind with useless trivia that has no practical value, whatsoever.”

Do this three times . . . now you’re in the proper mindset.

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Duffer:

A:  a slow-witted man

Bunco:

C: anything phony or deceptive

Barabas:

A: Indigenous homes along the lower Yukon River built half underground, inhabited in winter.

Kanin:

C: an ornately decorated dugout canoe

Now, in case your head can take more, here are some bonus words:

Cheechako:  Someone new to Alaska or the Yukon; originally, a gold rush newcomer.

Sourdough (yes, it’s a type of bread, too)  A person who has survived at least one winter in Alaska

Now for some cool nineteenth century slang to use at your next social(ly distanced) function:

Catawamptiously chewed up: utterly defeated

“Face it, Zena, I’ve won ten rounds of rock-paper-scissors. You have been catawamptiously chewed up.”

Catch a weasel asleep: in reference to trying to surprise a person who is always alert.

“Good luck with the surprise party for Charlie, you might as well catch a weasel asleep.”

Hornswoggle, honey-fuggled: to cheat

“Mary Anne, you’re nothing but a honey-fuggler! You’ve somehow predicted the bingo numbers.”

Wake snakes: make a lot of noise, cause a ruckus, or just have a great time.

“Let’s wake snakes with this Pampered Chef party!”

 

 

 

 

Feathered Guests

A good Saturday morning to all! Today, the sun shines with only a few wispy clouds dotting the sky. I want to tell you about a little adventure we had on our yard last week. The tale proves that your feet don’t need to carry you past the gatepost to create lifelong memories.

The COVID Pandemic has slowed the world, and though not a pleasant experience, it has taught us to appreciate the simpler pleasures. Like the little duck, we named Griffin, that wandered onto our lawn last week.

At first, we were surprised by the proximity to which we could approach Griffin. We reasoned he must belong to a local. Tanya put a shout out on social media, but no owner came forward.

There were some guesses as to what type of duck, and the gender. Know-it-All Google had the answer. A comparison of photos led to the conclusion that our guest was a Muscovy.  No one had the stomach to physically check for gender, so we relied on an online list of observed behaviors that indicated it was a dude.

Now, Muscovy ducks dine on mice, snakes, and other vermin, so in my books that makes Griffin a hero. We all agreed Griffin was welcome to stay.

Griffin chose the area under the treehouse and our kids happily tended to his needs.

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Just make yourself comfortable, Griffin. Need anything?

 

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Um . . . I’m no expert on drinking from a frisbee, but wouldn’t the water stay in better if you leave your feet out?

 

Griffinbucket600

How about a bucket, is that better?

Homemade duck bath, equals one happy fowl.

 

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Meanwhile, in the front yard, this poor baby needed saving. Reuntited with a chirping Mother Robin moments after this was taken.

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That night we camped in the wilds of our backyard, and when I awoke and exited the tent, Griffin was under the treehouse, standing guard.

Well, for us older folks, and perhaps just us Canucks, the whole story ended like an episode of the Littlest Hobo.  The next day we woke to find Griffen had moved on. Perhaps to brighten the day for another COVID weary family.

 

Welcome to Day 10 of the “SIR CHOCOLATE AND THE ICE CREAM RAINBOW FAIRIES” Blog Tour! @bakeandwrite @4WillsPub #RRBC.

Today I am excited to host talented author/cake decorator Robbie Cheadle. Together with her son, Michael, she has written a series of children’s books.

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GIVEAWAY:  (7 winners) Each will win a copy of one of her Sir Chocolate Story and Cookbooks. For your chance to win, please leave a comment below!

Sir Chocolate and the Ice cream Rainbow Fairies story and cookbook

Welcome to part 10 of the fondant cat parade

The fondant cat parade tells the story in limericks of Dinah the Kitten, daughter of Daddy Grey and Mommy Cat, who likes to sleep and escape to Wonderland in her dreams. While in Wonderland, Dinah meets a variety of brightly coloured and fun fantasy kittens. The fondant cat parade illustrates some of the wonderful fondant art that appears in all the Sir Chocolate books.

Today, you will learn about Blue Boy the Kitten.

Slide 1 Day 10

Slide 2 Day 10

 

Blue boy poem600

This is the end of Dinah in Wonderland, fondant cat parade. You can download the full illustrative PDF of the fondant cat parade here: https://robbiesinspiration.wordpress.com/dinah-in-wonderland-fondant-cat-parade/.

Learn about Chocolate Land

In Chocolate Land everything is edible including the houses. There are lots of different homes in
Chocolate Land with gingerbread houses being the most popular. The sugar dough bees live in a choux
pastry beehive and Professor Smartie lives in a Wizard Hat house made of cake. The fondant hamsters
live in a house made of chocolate and the Candy Dragon has a run-down gingerbread home decorated
with candy bones.

Slide 4 Day 10

All sorts of creatures and people inhabit Chocolate Land and they all have one thing in common, they are all made of sweets, chocolate, fondant and biscuits.

Slide 5 Day 10 (1)

 

Sir Chocolate poses with the Roundy Twins who are made of candy-coated chocolate Easter eggs. Next to them is Professor Smartie and Sylvia Honeylegs who is made from honey brittle and Licorice Allsorts. The man on the moon is made of cheese and the moon babies shine with edible gold glitter. Taylor red is shocked when a hungry snail eats all the fondant flowers and the nougat clown is happy when he gets to play his guitar.

BOOK BLURB:

Sir Chocolate and the Ice cream Rainbow Fairies Cover300

Join Sir Chocolate and Lady Sweet on a fun adventure to discover why the milkshake rain is pale and white.

Contains five recipes that children can make under adult supervision

Watch the trailer:

 

AUTHOR BIO:

Robbie Cheadle (2)300

Hello, my name is Robbie, short for Roberta. I am an author with seven published children’s picture books in the Sir Chocolate books series for children aged 2 to 9 years old (co-authored with my son, Michael Cheadle), one published middle grade book in the Silly Willy series and one published preteen/young adult fictionalised biography about my mother’s life as a young girl growing up in an English town in Suffolk during World War II called While the Bombs Fell (co-authored with my mother, Elsie Hancy Eaton). All of my children’s book are written under Robbie Cheadle and are published by TSL Publications.

I also have a book of poetry called Open a new door, with fellow South African poet, Kim Blades.

I have recently branched into adult and young adult horror and supernatural writing and, in order to clearly differential my children’s books from my adult writing, I plan to publish these books under Roberta Eaton Cheadle. My first supernatural book published in that name, Through the Nethergate, is now available.

I have participated in a number of anthologies:

  • Two short stories in #1 Amazon bestselling anthology, Dark Visions, a collection of horror stories edited by Dan Alatorre under Robbie Cheadle;
  • Three short stories in Death Among Us, an anthology of murder mystery stories, edited by Stephen Bentley under Robbie Cheadle;
  • Three short stories in #1 Amazon bestselling anthology, Nightmareland, a collection of horror stories edited by Dan Alatorre under Robbie Cheadle; and
  • Two short stories in Whispers of the Past, an anthology of paranormal stories, edited by Kaye Lynne Booth under Roberta Eaton Cheadle.

SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS:

Robbie Cheadle

Website

https://www.robbiecheadle.co.za/

Blog

https://robbiesinspiration.wordpress.com/

Goodreads

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15584446.Robbie_Cheadle

Twitter

https://twitter.com/bakeandwrite

Roberta Eaton Cheadle

Website

https://www.robbiecheadle.co.za/

Blog

https://wordpress.com/view/robertawrites235681907.wordpress.com

Goodreads

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/19631306.Roberta_Eaton_Cheadle

Twitter

https://twitter.com/RobertaEaton17

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/robertawrites/?modal=admin_todo_tour

AMAZON OR OTHER PURCHASE LINKS:

TSL Publications:

https://tslbooks.uk/product/sir-chocolate-and-the-ice-cream-rainbow-fairies/

Lulu.com:

https://www.lulu.com/shop/robbie-cheadle-and-michael-cheadle/sir-chocolate-and-the-ice-cream-rainbow-fairies-story-and-cookbook/ebook/product-24468045.html

Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Chocolate-Cream-Rainbow-Fairies-Cookbook-ebook/dp/B086DYYNFQ

To follow along with the rest of the tour, please visit the author’s tour page on the 4WillsPublishing site. If you’d like to schedule your own blog tour and have your book promoted in similar grand fashion, please click HERE. Thanks for supporting this author and her work!

Guest Post on Author D.L. Finn’s Blog

Hello on this fine June day! It’s warmed up considerably here in the last week. I hope everyone had a great weekend and that all those father’s out there were spoilt.

Today, I’m over at D.L Finn’s amazing blog, she writes a variety of poetry, children’s books, and supernatural thrillers. I highly recommened a look around her blog while you’re there.

Thank you so much Denise!

Here is the link : D.L. Finn blog