Photo Prompt For Kreative Kue

Good morning, afternoon, or night. Today I’ve decided to participate in author Keith Edgar Channing’s “Kreative Kue” Please follow the link to Keith’s fantastic blog.

Here Is The Photo Prompt:

“Morning Maybelle! Have anything juicy today?”

“Shh! Keep it down! Patience, Julene, I’m hungry.”

“Hmmmmhmmmmhmmmmhm—”

“’dop’dat!”

“Hmm . . . oh, sorry, just do that when I get nervous. Ooops! Pee, too. Sorry about the splatter.”

“Yuck! Hold on, let me wipe this muck off! There, better now. Well, now, Julene, let me see. Oh! Yes! See the calf lying down next to Molly? No, don’t move your head to look! Pshaw! After everything I’ve taught and you’re still a bovine! And stop rubbing your head against the buffet table! Honestly!”

“Nervous habit, sorry.”

“Annyyywayyyyss . . . as I was saying, the dreadful tail nipper is not Ferdinand’s!”

“Ahh!! Ferdinand!”

Must you copy everything I say? Especially at the same time!”

“Sorry, Maybelle . . . wait? Did you say—”

“I’ve heard his real father is a . . .”

“A what? Tell me, or I’ll pee again!”

“Shh!! He’s a Jersey.”

“Really? Oh, how delicious! Not as tasty as the candy bar. Um, I think it’s called Jersey Malt?”

“Ugh, Jersey Milk. You are still just a b—”

“Not the ‘b’ word! I’ll tell Molly what you said.”

“Go ahead. She’ll laugh at you again and then you’ll miss out on the rest of- oh, hi Lucy! So glad to see you!”

“Wow, still synchronizing your greetings, I see. I’m well, thank you. Just a nibble and I’ll be off. Got to help scare away the bloody gophers. They keep digging holes and twisting hooves.”

“Pfff! Only women with more udders than brains.”

“Beg pardon, Maybelle?”

“She said that you look udderly amazing today! Did you just get some new lipstick? Green is the new brown, you know.”

“Huh? No Julene. I just found a fresh batch of caterpillars! Yum! So tasty, they way they pop in your mouth! Their juices running down your lips!”

“I’m going to be sick.”

“Oh well, in that case, I’ll pass on the hay. See you girls later.”

“She does that on purpose. See the smile on her face? She’s disgusting.”

“Hey-hey! What’s up?”

“Hi Tammy!”

“Yes! That’s the spirit! Going to be a good one! Gonna’ get all up in that prune-faced farmer Macko! Or is that, Wacko! Ha! I slay me!”

“You go, baby girl! You show him the ‘what-for!’”

“Huh? What for? What are you talking ‘bout Jules?”

“Uh, whatever you are. Um, I guess.”

“Nah! Just messing with you, girl! I’m gonna’ hide the salt lick on him again! This’ll be the fifth one he’s bought this month. Oh, ya! He’ll be mutterin’ and whinin’ ‘bout cost and such. Gonna’ be righteous stuff.”

“Sounds wonderful!”

“Sounds dumb.”

“What’d you say, Makebelief?”

“Um, I’m sorry to correct you, Tammy, but it’s—”

“I know what bigmouth’s name is, but she’s so fake, they oughta’ park her on the front lawn, with a flag saying, “Welcome to Macko’s Farm, ” stuck in her b—”

“That’s quite enough! Why, I just saw a tasty patch of hemlock, all you can eat.”

“Trying to kill me, huh? Well, that ain’t right!”

“Go, away!”

“Humph!”

“Ugh! I’m tired of living with such common Bos Taurus.”

“What’s that! It’s growling like that weird T-Rex monster thingy. You know, the one with the large back legs and the itty-bitty front ones? But this one’s swallowed Farmer Macko whole! You can see him in the gut. Eww!”

“You mean the tractor? And no, Macko is perfectly fine. He’s driving the truck.”

“Oh ya, now I remember. Well, it’s coming this way!”

“You’re right, Julene! Remember the last time?”

“It’s stopped! Oh Maybelle, Macko’s ripped the truck’s mouth open and he’s coming towards us! He’s got that neck thingy.”

“A rope! It’s me! No! I’ve been good. Hide me! Quick!”

“Um, oh, hey look! Tammy’s running away with the salt lick! Go Tammy! So funny!”

“Not now! Julene, you need to hide me!”

“Oh, yay, um, get into those bushes. Headfirst, yes, that should do. If you can’t see him, he can’t see you!”

“Makes perfect sense! I take back what I’ve been saying about you to everyone. You’re a genius!”

“Um, yes, I’m just going to step away. Join the others and see the babies. Just shout if you need me.”

Photo Prompt For Kreative Kue

Good morning, afternoon, or night. Today I’ve decided to participate in author Keith Edgar Channing’s “Kreative Kue” Please follow the link to Keith’s fantastic blog.

Here is the photo prompt:

“Jasper! I’m sorry!”

“You called me ‘poofy,’ and right in front of Sally!”

“Look, I thought she liked ‘poofy’!

“Then you peed on my leg! Yuck! Do you know how much rolling in the grass I had to do, to get that off! To make it worse, you did it right—”

“In front of Sally. I get it. I told you, it’s a medical condition. Look I’m sorry you were embarrassed. But let’s look at the facts. Sally is a Bullmastiff, and you’re, well, you.”

“I’m not good enough for her? That what you’re saying?”

“Well, not exactly. It’s just that, when she grows bigger, much, much, much bigger, there’s going to be some complications.”

“I don’t even know what that means.”

“The word, ‘complication,’ originated from the Latin word ‘complicationem’. It means—”

“Pshaw! I know what the word means, I don’t understand what it matters what kind of dog Sally is.”

“Well, she’s young now, but she’s going to grow tall, very tall.”

“How tall?”

“Let’s just say you won’t be able to keep up with her. When you go for a walk, she might as well carry you by the scruff of your neck. Your feet won’t even touch the ground.”

“You’re putting me on!”

“Nope! Look, Mom’s calling us for dinner. I’ll get her to Google a picture of what Sally is going to look like when she’s fully grown.”

“Alright, but it won’t stop us! I’ll steal the step stool Mom uses to reach the top cupboard, to kiss her!”

“The cupboard with our treats?”

“The very one.”

“Wow! You really ARE in love!”

Flash Fiction Photo Prompt For Kreative Kue

Happy day-before-Friday. Sun’s shining here once again, and the grass begs for a cut. It can wait. Well, at least until I finish posting here. Today I’ve decided to participate in author Keith Edgar Channing’s “Kreative Kue” Please follow the link to Keith’s fantastic blog.

Here is the photo prompt:

My Take:

“So, Mr. Wrightbottom, can you tell us about the endangered Snufflepotomaus bird that inhabits this area?”

“Actually, that’s Snufflepotomaas, but I’ll forgive your ignorance. I’ll do better. I show one to you.”

“Really?”

“Observe.”

“Um, are those M&M’s you’re pulling out of your bag?”

“My what? You mean my satchel? And ‘duh’ . . . I mean of course these are. Watch and learn. Look towards the long grass, near the base of that larger tree.”

“Okay! I mean, Larry, turn the camera that way.”

“Nyuk! Nyuk! Gobble! Gobble!”

“Oh . . . okay, and what is that move you’re doing? What does bobbing your head and sticking out your tongue do?”

“I’ ‘aw’ ‘in’ in’.”

“Ummm . . . it draws them in?”

“’uh, ‘uh.”

“You’re nodding, so I guess that’s a ‘yes’.”

“Nyuk! Ny—”

“Mr. Wrightbottom, what exactly is going on he—”

“Hey! We told you yesterday to stay out of here! This time I’m gonna’ call the cops! Flattening the ground keeper’s tires in his driveway, and then stealing his clothes from the locker! You’re going to jail, buddy!”

“What the **** is going on here!”

“Psst! Dave, we’re still on the air.”

“Oh ****! I mean, keep rolling! This boring gig just got a whole lot more exciting! Who knew the crazy guy could run! Did he just . . . aghh! Could have gone all day without seeing that!”  

“I hear you Dave, in all my years I’d never thought I’d watch a naked man being chased across a golf course, while dropping M&M’s from his bag.”

“It’s a satchel! And who’re you calling crazy!”

“Apparently he can hear well, too.”

“Okay, I guess that’s a wrap, or unwrap. Larry, you want to go for a beer?”

“Yup, or two.”

‘Fiction In A Flash Challenge 2021.’ Week #43. By Mark Bierman @mbiermanauthor #IARTG #WritingPrompts #WritingCommunity #FlashFiction

Happy Friday! The long weekend is here, yay! Here is my take on talented Author Suzanne Burkes’ weekly Fiction In a Flash Challenge.  Authors are invited to write a short story about the photo shown. Please click on the above link to go to her blog site. Thank you so much, Suzanne for hosting this regular challenge!

Photo prompt:

“Captain BriIlaagisetogainalihandet! They’re closing in on us!”

“Argh! Landlubber knave! How many times do I hafta’ tell ye, not to call me by that name! It’s hyphnatted now!”

“What?”

“Shortened! Like yer life, if ya’ call me that agin! It’s Bilgerat that I goes by, on these seas.”

“Um, right, of course. Meant no offense, sir . . .  ah, Captain Bilge rat . . . er, I mean Bilgerat. It’s just that, well, do you think it was wise to steal the light house keeper’s secret recipe, for peanut butter brittle? He’s set the Royal Navy on us, and—”

 “Ye be a quakin’ in yer booties, I see. Got nary a stomak fer the high stakes game of the buccaneer!”

“Ah, sorry, I’m a bit new at this. Oh hi, by the way, my name’s Rick. My first time working on a pirate ship, and all. We haven’t met, but I know—”

“Pirate! Ne’er use that word on this ship agin, or you’ll be shark chum! Got it! It’s not jus’ fer my sake, but yur’s too. Ya’ know, a man can’t do this fer’ever and some day ye’ll be walkin’ off into the reel world. Git yerself a wench an’ settle down, have a coupl’a kids an’ then you’ll be needin’ a job. ‘Magine puttin’ pirate on the resume! Argh! Best to put buccaneer, sounds best.”

“Um, Okay. Actually, speaking of shark chum, are you quite finished with dragging Bertrand behind the ship. I mean, it’s been a day since he broke into your stash of chocolate coins. You know, the ones you thought were real, until they melted in the sun.”

“Bah! I knew they’re choc’late, scallywag! I did! Don’t ye be eyeballin’ me that way. Who told ya’ that lie? Argh! Ne’er mind! Firs’ n’ fourmos’, do not be questionin’ my discipline means. Secondly, he’s floatin’ on a piece of crate from the croissants we stole from the French bakr’y. But yer right ‘bout that. He’s slowin’ us down, so best to cut ‘im loose. Take your sword, lad.”

“Wait! Bertrand makes delicious waffles, and he knows where to get the best cream and strawberries.”

“I know’ ya’ picaroon! It’s jus’ an espression! The blade is fer the ‘gulls. Keeps ‘em from getting too close an’ usin’ yer ‘noggin’ fer an outhouse!”

“Oh, yes, Master, Bilgerat. Nasty things, those birds. But before I go, I want to—”

“What? Know ‘bout if it was worth the recipe? Yay, I say! My Nanna used to make it best, and this here keeper says his is better, it’s all o’er the seven seas! See my tooth? The last one, and I’ll not be wastin’ it on brittle with the taste of sea glass. I swore an oath to dear Nanna, that I’d steal the recipe and find the truth. If it’s better, I’ll burn the recipe. No one bests Nanna!”

“Oh, you’re doing this all for your Grandmother, how swee— I mean swashbuckling, of you. But there’s one more thing.”

“Speak of it, then shutpan your mouth, an’ do as your told!”

“Well, um, how do I put this, you seem to be moderately good, sort of, at your job. You turn that large wheel thing, like a pro, but perhaps you need some brushing up on your navigational skills.”

“Ye be talkin’ yerself to the plank. Can ya’ swim?”

“Um, I don’t think that’ll be necessary, either the plank or the swim.”

“Nec’ary! I’ll tell ye’ what is that! As long as yer under these sail’s, I be tellin’ ye what’s that!”

“Okay. Fair enough, but I think someone might have a slightly different opinion.”

“An’ who might that scallywag be? I’ll send him to the Locker!”

“Oh, that would be the lighthouse keeper. You see, we did a full circle and—”

“My ship! Weigh anchors! Argh! It be too laaaatttteee!!!”  

‘Fiction In A Flash Challenge 2021.’ Week #37. Entry Part 8) by Mark Bierman @mbiermanauthor #IARTG #WritingCommunity #WritingPrompts #FlashFiction

HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME TO AUTHOR SUZANNE BURKE’S “FICTION IN A FLASH CHALLENGE!” EACH WEEK SHE FEATURES AN IMAGE AND INVITES EVERYONE TO WRITE A FLASH FICTION, OR NON-FICTION, PIECE INSPIRED BY THAT IMAGE IN ANY FORMAT AND GENRE OF THEIR CHOOSING.  MAXIMUM WORD COUNT: 750 WORDS. IN ADDITION TO RUNNING A WONDERFUL BLOG, SUZANNE HAS WRITTEN MANY EXCITING BOOKS. PLEASE A HAVE A LOOK AT HER SITE: WECOME TO THE WORLD OF SUZANNE BURKE

Here is my contribution to this week’s prompt. Enjoy!

“You hear that?” Mandy twisted her red locks into coils. Her wide-eyed expression moved her freckles, like dozens of islands shifted by an earthquake.

Dan put his ear against the door.

“Careful! What do you hear?”

“Chewing.” An icicle lodged in his spine.

“What? Dan Beamish! I can’t take it any longer! I’m calling Mom and Dad! I want to go home! George Binks was right, this place is haunted!”

“My gosh!” Dan jumped back. His jaw became a flag in the wind.

“Stop blubbering, out with it! You’re scaring me!”

“You should be.”

“Stop it!” Mandy’s eyes were red. It reminded Dan of the time he’d drew mustaches on her Barbies, with permanent marker. “Tell Uncle Bill! He’ll know what to do. He’ll call Mom and Dad to pick us up!”

“Don’t be such a wimp. Don’t you want to see what it is? Maybe it’s a Snog, just like in one of your silly books. Besides, Uncle Bill is away this afternoon. Mom and Dad are in the Bahamas.”

“I’m NOT a wimp, you’re just stupid! My books are NOT silly. Snogs are NOT real. Whatever’s in there, is! We should wait until Uncle Bill returns.”

“Get me something to defend myself.”

Mandy crossed her arms and scowled at her older brother. He was stubborn, just like his father, that’s what Mom said. Mom’s always right about Dan. She sighed. “Fine, there’s a croquette mallet in the hall closest.” She stomped down the ancient steps. Stupid, old, haunted house. Why couldn’t they’ve gone to Aunt Rita’s cottage on the beach? Oh, because Danny the Pansy was allergic to the sand. Whoever heard of such a thing?

She returned with the mallet to find Dan testing the doorknob.

Mandy performed a fake curtsy and handed the mallet over. “You’re lance, noble knight.”

Dan rolled his eyes. He counted to three, via the scenic route. “Two and a quarter, two and a half, two and three quarters, three!” He charged in screaming, mallet raised overhead, Brave Heart style.

Something large ran through what could only be described as a trash bin. Dan looked around, shocked by the mess. Uncle was a neat freak, but this was an episode of Hoarders.

Wind gusted through an open window. Papers blew across a desk and onto a floor that could have been hardwood. A huge lump moved underneath the pile, heading straight for him! A terrible hissing and growling came from the thing.

Dan’s arms lost feeling and the mallet struck his knee as it dropped. He was nailed to the floor.

“Dan! Get out!”

He tried to back away, but tripped on a power cord, that brought him and a desk computer, crashing to the floor.  

A yellowed New York Times paper, a foot from his face, burst off the floor, to reveal a hideous nightmare of bloody teeth and fur.

The eyes were blacker than the pavement, velociraptor sharp claws, and a hiss like a thousand water snakes. It stood on it’s hind legs, belly fur covered in blood. The thing was about to rip him apart! His mind flashed back to all those nature shows he’d watched. What to do? Run . . . seriously? Play dead? No, he’d be dead. Act submissive, lower your eyes and bow your head . . . quick! He raised himself to a kneel and bowed, face to the floor. It was terrifying, exposing the back of his neck.

“Dan! What are you doing! Have you lost your mind?”

“Showing respect. Being submissive.”

It didn’t work. The thing hissed and moved towards him. Dan could feel and smell its hot and stinky breath . This was it, his life for hers. “Go, Mandy! Run! It wants me and you can still get away!”

The beast moved closer, coming in for the kill bite, just like a lion. It would be a less painful way to die.

Dan was ready too.

Something swept past his head. The creature let out a squeal and then began to whimper, as it fled.

“You rascal!” Uncle Bill yelled.

His new favorite uncle held a broom, as he chased the thing out the window. He shut the window, turned towards them and said, “Blasted racoon. Should have closed the window. Got into my bowl of ravioli again!” He held up an empty can of Chef Boyardee’s “finest” pasta. He looked embarrassed.

Dan smacked his head when he noticed the “blood”’ matched the color of the pasta sauce.