Man-i-tasking!

Hey blogger buddies! Today we’re delving into a hot topic (well, maybe not so hot) about multitasking. We all know the research behind women as capable multitaskers, but what about us dudes?

My friend Ted thinks so. He calls it man-i-tasking. Why don’t we peek in and see how it’s working for him?

Bollock’s Pet Supplies

December 13, 2022

7:56 AM

Bae: Can’t wait for dinner! Where r u taking me?

Ted: Fuhgeddaboudit!

Bae: Botticellis! I nu it! Luv the Ribollita! Yummee! Tiramisu for dessert!

“Morning Ted. Hey, did you remember to restock the dog food yesterday, before you left?”

“You bet your ah . . . great hair, I did.”

“Hey, I know you’re not on the clock yet, but I’ve got a video call in a few moments. Do you think you can send a quick text for me?”

“Um, on my phone?”

Bae: Hello?

Ted: Txt u in a sec.

“Wouldn’t dream of asking that. Use the one we gave you, the one sitting on the desk by your elbow.”

“Sure, no prob, Susan. I’m just finishing up with Bae, I mean Jen. What’s it about?”

Bae: Why? Watz up?

Ted: Just a sec

“The Christmas Party tonight. There’s been some last-minute changes. I need to let everyone know the details, ASAP. We open in less than five, can you send it now? There’s a lineup at the door already, so I don’t want it forgotten.”

“Okay . . . shoot, Boss Lady. I can man-i-task like the best!”

“Um okay. Here goes. We regret to inform you that due to a kitchen fire last night at Chichi Piquant, we’ve had to change venues. We’ve leased plenty of . . .

Bae: Why u ignoring me? Tell me watz up!

“yxvy hjklmnohhhh invgep dklwpoub

Ted: It’s Boss Lady. K?

Bae: So? U got 4 mins.

“qzxxy ahnghh for . . .

Bae: Tell her!

Ted: She’s Boss!

“6 pm. Remember to bring  . . .

Bae: I gotta’ come down there and do it?

Ted: Just a sec!

Bae: U txtin’ wat she says rite now! On the work phone! Pussy!

Ted: It’s not like that!

“exysty. Oh, and . . .

Bae: Hollow back man!

Ted: I ain’t no!

Bae: Gwen Stephanie forever! Ya!

Ted: ROLF!

“You got all that, Teddy? Good. Gotta’ go! Be sure to clean the gerbil cages at some point today.”

Ted: U got it, Boss Lady!

Bae: Huh? Oh ya! U rite about that!

“Right on it, Boss Lady Susan. Just hitting the old group chat ‘send’ button.”

Ted: Bae, I gotta’ go open up shop.

Ted: Bae?

Ted: Bae? I mean it, some kid’s kicking the door.

Bae: Um, u sent this to everyone at our work?

Ted: Ya, why?

Bae: Read it and remember what I said about man-i-tasking.

Ted: Not a thing, got ya. 😉

 “Hey, Ted, can I see you in my office?”

“Susan! Hey, I was just about to open up. I thought you had a meeting.”

“I did, I do, but something’s come up. Just a quick chat. Okay? Hey Mike, can you take a break from stocking shelves and open up? Great, thanks.”

“That’s it, Ted, come in and close the door.”

“What’s this about? I sent the text like you asked. I know, I should have stopped talking to Jen. But you know how she is.”

“I do, she’s worked here for a long time. But you’re right, you should have stopped. One thing at a time, remember? Man-i-tasking is a myth.”

“Prove it.”

“Okay. Here’s what I asked you to send: ‘We regret to inform you that due to a kitchen fire at Chichi Piquant, we’ve had to change venues. We’ve leased plenty of space for the kid’s Santa party, as this will keep things orderly.

It’ll be at Crème Emporium for 6pm. Remember to bring a pet toy donation. Rawhides are always a chewy favorite! Oh, and dress up as your favorite Holiday character! Susan will be going as Dotty Elf. Yes, she’s a bit sass!’

“Dotty was a favorite character in a book I used to love, by the way.”

“So, what the problem?”

“Here’s what you texted not only the entire store, but the entire chain. My bosses were a bit ‘curious’ to say the least.

 ‘We regret to inform you that due to a kitchen fire at Chichi Piquant, we’ve had to change venues. We’ll leash all the kids for the Santa Party, it’ll keep them orderly.  It’ll be at the Crematorium for 6pm. Remember to bring your chewy hides, as they’re a favorite. Huh? Dunno’ about that one, but Susan’s telling me what to type. Anyways, she’s going as Naughty Elf because she’s a bad ass.’ ”

“Am I fired?”

“Is man-i-tasking a myth?”

“Er . . .”

“Is it?”

“Yes, if I can keep my job.”

“Done.”

Bae: Told you so!

Published by

markbierman

Born and raised on a farm near Brockville, Ontario, Mark Bierman's childhood consisted of chores, riding horses, snowmobile races across open fields, fishing trips to a local lake, and many other outdoor adventures. He was also an avid reader of both fiction and non. Transitioning towards adulthood also meant moving from the farm and into large urban areas that introduced this country boy to life in the big cities. After a short stint as a private investigator, he moved into the role of Correctional Officer, working at both Millhaven Institution and Kingston Penitentiary, until it closed.

50 thoughts on “Man-i-tasking!”

  1. Hilarious, Mark – all too true. I’ve recently read that doing one task at a time is much better for you, so I’m trying to do that these days. No more multitasking for me.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hahaha. Makes me dizzy just reading it Mark.
    Love the results of man i tasking.
    That’s about the size of it for sure!🙀🙀

    Liked by 2 people

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